Every couple’s wish is to have a marriage filled with happiness and marital bliss and the first year of marriage is usually expected to be easier and peaceful; after all, you both made a vow to live happily ever after. Looking back at the courtship stage, you are both in love and nothing was going to come between your affections for each other, marriage was all that was required to seal the love, a trip down the aisle and you then start to live the rest of your lives in marital bliss….REALLY!
The reality of the beginning: The truth is, the first year of a marriage is often the toughest, not because it may be difficult to cope considering the current divorce rate, especially amongst newly wedded couples today, but it is filled with surprises and realities of setting your marriage structures for years to come. It is therefore important for you to keep in mind that marriage is hard work. It takes some serious effort to make a marriage last in the first few years. Surviving the first year of your marriage is certainly a great accomplishment too.
A different kind of love: It is right to say that you both found love and that love brought you to this stage. The moment you made that declaration, you will start to experience a different kind of love and you are only just beginning to learn how to love one another well. At this stage, love can get confusing when you are overwhelmed with so much emotion and filled with too many expectations beyond your wildest dreams.
The true adjustment: Marriage is 100 per cent partnership and participation. Once you understand that you have taken on the affairs of a new person, a new family as your spouse is a part of an extended family, you have to make a quick adjustment and get ready for unexpected surprises too. Experience, they say, is the best teacher; now that you have the privilege to experience this great relationship called marriage, let the learning process begin too by building a strong foundation for your lives together and making your spouse your first priority over any other person.
The most difficult yet significant adjustment you need to make as a new couple is the act of breaking up and making up. You are bound to have diverse opinions and understanding of various issues and disagreement will usually set in. But if you have set a good foundation from the start, you will be able to come to resolution and appreciate the importance of forgiveness in your marriage too.
Marriage can be so complex just as human race but if you both understand the importance of this great institution to humanity, you will allow it to bring out the best in you while you give it your best too.
Do not take two being joined as one too literally. Have enough independence in your life and endeavour to add values to the life of your spouse and the marriage as a whole.
Love is so deep and full, so whole and awesome that you must give and receive all of it, every piece, every part, every side just as your true selves allow, a great marriage will always come with both surprises and realities too.