Ending A Relationship: The 9-point Checklist

Ending a relationship hurts. Is that really the right step? There are various signs that indicate this.

Once you have made up your mind, the right words still need to be found to explain to your partner that it is now finally over.

This checklist should be a support for you.

Did you address the problems?

Whoever wants to end a relationship usually has a reason for it. If you still love your partner and you are bothered by certain characteristics and situations, the following applies before the end: Address the problems openly. Maybe all is not lost after all.

Every relationship knows crises. But that doesn’t mean that you have to give it up because of it, on the contrary.

Your partner deserves a chance and often doesn’t even know that certain behavior is bothering you.

If you’ve brought it up several times and nothing has changed, only one person is working on the relationship. This is more a sign of ending a relationship.

Do you have the same future plans?

Sooner or later there comes a point in every relationship when you and your partner have to talk about your ideas about the future.

If it turns out that you want to go in completely different directions, you should have a conversation. Does this relationship make sense at all?

This is a difficult decision that you should make together. It is also important that you cannot ask yourself or your partner to put their wishes and dreams on hold.

In a few years this will only lead to accusations.

Are you afraid of the reactions of those around you?

In both very fresh and long-term relationships, a breakup is something that creates a lot of conversation in your social environment.

In any relationship, it is always true that one has tried to save the relationship.

You may even have the same circle of friends after many years of being in a relationship. A separation would also affect the social environment.

That shouldn’t be the reason you’re holding onto the relationship, though. The friends also get used to a breakup and stand by you.

In relationships, it is easy to fall into comfort and habit. Especially when you have already moved in together, separation also means stress.

You have to find a new apartment and arrange your life on your own again.

But this stress is not a reason to remain unhappy in a relationship. This will end up stressing you out a lot more. Take care of your health and end the relationship.

How do I break up?

Once you’ve made the decision to end the relationship, be sure to choose the right words.

Choose a quiet place

First of all, you should be in a place where you have the peace of mind to have this conversation.

Depending on the temperament of your partner, you can choose a neutral place, such as a quiet park or the apartment.

State your reasons, but don’t blame yourself

Then it is important that you have an honest conversation that is not hurtful. Don’t blame yourself, but state your reasons. Rather talk about your feelings and start with “I” as often as possible instead of using the reproachful “you”.

Give your partner space for emotions

Each partner reacts differently. This is probably one of the reasons why we often hesitate so long before ending it.

One of them gets angry and lets insults rain down on you. The other one is crying and wants to convince you to give the relationship another chance. The other reacts sadly and rather quietly.

Whatever the reaction, give your partner room for emotion.

Say The Words ‘I’ll break up with you.’

Just giving reasons and then hoping that through the flower the partner understands what it’s getting at is not fair. Make it very clear that you are ending the relationship. So there are no misunderstandings.

And very important: see it through! You need some distance now. Giving the partner hope through further contact that it might still work out only makes it harder for him.

How confident are you really?

Do you want to find out how confident you really are?